It is possible for the mind to stay non-reactive while the cells of the body remain completely neutral, even in times of trauma. When this happens, there is a tremendous release of life energy along with the ability to harness the will force behind it.

This is what I recently learned from swallowing a jagged thumb nail size piece of chicken bone in my soup and getting it lodged in my esophagus. The most basic wisdom, "don't chew and talk at the same time" is the newest example we are reminded of at the dinner table. While asking my young son to sit in his chair and eat dinner, I wasn't taking the time to mindfully bite and thoroughly chew enough times to catch the bone as it rolled off my tongue and down my throat. Luckily for me, it didn't get lodged in my trachea and didn't damage my voice box.

In the moment it got stuck, I dismissed the wave of faintness that came over me and decided that fainting was not a good option. Instead, I got up and got the car keys and asked to be driven to the emergency room. Matthew and my son took me to the hospital. Once there, the crew quickly hooked me up to an IV and started to explain that the normal protocol is to reduce anxiety with medication through the IV. This was not necessary for me because my pulses and oxygen levels remained normal. The doctor thought that perhaps it felt like a bone was stuck due to a scratch. I whispered the words, "take an x-ray," which then revealed the big bone hidden from view, too deep and requiring scope surgery to remove.

I sat in meditation for two hours practicing pranayama until the surgeon came. Nurses were curious as to how I was able to remain still and unmoving without "getting a sore back from sitting up straight." Little did they know that sitting for one - even three - hours at a time was something I had done many times before. With each painful swallow, I patiently relaxed into the sensations. Finally, after one and a half hours, I was told I would be prepped for the surgery and that they were going to give me morphine before getting the general anesthesia. I was asked if I wanted the morphine early to help with the pain. I decided to consent to a half dose.

The immediate feeling of warm oil pouring over my brain and traveling down my spine to the tip of my coccyx was alerting to my senses at first, but once it stopped, I recognized the familiar feeling similar to that of the Ayurvedic Oil Treatment: Shirodhara. The feeling was STABLE and STEADY! I loved it and proclaimed, "I know this feeling...it is being grounded and calm." Now I recognized the medicine and healing opportunity for my cells. I then went into meditation again with the profound intention that I wanted to "cut and paste" fear-based reactions to trauma with this new stable reaction instead. This kriya and tapas shifted my entire perception of what was happening to me as a victim in the situation to who I truly was participating in the event.

The rest was amazing as I managed all the details, from coordinating my stomach getting pumped to being engaged in all the other items I needed to go through in the procedure to finally surrendering peacefully to the anesthesia.

The true gift of this entire event was in the eight hours post operation. As I came in and out of consciousness with the awareness that I was purging memory after memory of trauma that I have known and experienced throughout lifetimes, I was aware that samskaras were being cleansed. Some I remember from this life and others were just observing the fleeting visions passing by in my mind.

I would not wish this blessing on anyone the way I received it but this new cellular "chill and calm" is an inner peaceful intelligence that I am grateful for and hope to better share through my healing work with others.